A collection of mostly unrelated thoughts, some dog included

So, as it turns out, to get a fortuneteller's license in my town, you have to not only take some test they come up with (which I'd do just to see it, really, if it didn't cost too much) and also be bonded for something like $5000. Which I don't know what costs the individual, having never been bonded. So that's a wash. But when I go to renew Elka's license, I'll ask if you still need the fortuneteller's license if you're going to be doing strictly for fun fortunetelling online. Or will that blow my cover? Hrm. I don't want to be breaking the law with illicit fortunetelling, to be sure.

Alpha? No, that's just not how I roll.

Fewer things are more alarming to me when I see one faceless person on the Internet say to another "Make sure you maintain your Alpha position. Your dog must be submissive to you. On his back or on his side. Bring him down and hold him there until he submits to you."

Paraphrased, but you get the gist. You probably have heard of the "alpha roll" before, but if you haven't, it's as physical and improbable as it sounds: you physically roll the dog onto his or her back. And hold him or her there until the dog submits to your dominance. Sound like a bad idea? Yeah, I think so too. Have I ever "alpha rolled" Elka? No. And I never intend to.

See the joy in this face? I don't want to crush that.