Resident Evil Dog breed: this doesn't get you to The Elka Almanac 'til page 5. In my eyes, it's a dedicated searcher that goes to page 5 of a Google search. An image search of "Devil dogs" also goes to that particular post.
Pile of Ducks:
This search brings you to the very first tennis ball post! I got the tennis ball from Tractor Supply, and brought Elka with me on that field trip. I did enjoy the tennis ball thing (and so did Elka!) but I ran through my tennis ball resources.
Mean Doberman and How to make my Doberman mean are phrases I see an awful lot. Obviously, the linked posts aren't exactly what those kinds of people are looking for. But I take a passive aggressive hope in the notion that maybe somebody got educated.
Doberman paw reveals many Dobermans whose nails are much better trimmed than Elka's, but also
"Will my Doberman protect me?" is the one I'll leave you with. As ever, my answer is "I hope I never have to find out".